i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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