He asked to "fluff my boner.."
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
