If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
