Already got asked if we're dating
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
