I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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