I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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