god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
