Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
