I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
