do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
