there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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