I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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