I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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