I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
