dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
