1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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