This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
