If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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