I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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