Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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