i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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