Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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