So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
