woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
