Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
