Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
