I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize