What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize