yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
