That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
