we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
