i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
