dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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