Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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