Dual....:-)
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
