Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
