I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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