I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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