Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
