Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
