just come out here and I will go home with you...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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