I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
