Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It's official drugs can't kill me
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize