Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
