Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
