Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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