My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
