Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
