So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
