Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
