i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize