xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
