Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
