well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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