During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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