im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
i think i just lost a toe
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
