ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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